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LANALLAH __Islamic BlogZine__
Sunday, August 28, 2005

~I cannot go forward for I have much to regret~

by Sister Ameera

Every single one of us human beings today is well accustomed to such a state of being or feeling. It strikes us, unfortunately, often, in our lives, careful as we might be in avoiding situations that give rise to it. It strikes us when we least expect it – one minute we are sure that whatever we are doing, or whatever we have done, was perfect. And then, out of the blue, something goes wrong and regret clutches our throat and we sink into despair.

Oh, why did I have to do it that way? Why didn’t I think? If only I had…

Such thoughts are common to us all. When we reach the end of the road and look back to find nothing but blackness, we are overcome with regret and remorse. Oh, if time would only turn back and everything could be done all over again. But time and tide wait for none, as the saying goes, and those who have lost something in this wave cannot regain it by any humanly means. I am talking of such things that often are not material… but abstract.

I cannot say confidently whether I regret many decisions and situations in my life, so far. Alhamdolillah, there have not been many such occasions. However, I have come to realize that regret is terrible and it brings along so much despair and sorrow that one must take utmost care to avoid it. This is, of course, obvious, you may say – who would like to face regret? But this is exactly what brings me to my point.

If regret is so painful for us today in our daily lives, concerning – often – material possessions or wishes, then what would it be like on the Day of Judgment? Can a day of this present world and time be comparable with the time – or rather no time at all – on the Day of Judgment?

This seems like small talk but deep meanings are hidden within it, as I very recently came to realize myself.

We have been told of the scenario on the Day of Judgment by many people and consequently, a picture has formed in my mind as well. Try and imagine this…

I can’t say anything… it is as if my mouth is dry inside and all voice has died within me. There are multitudes of people all around me, pouring in from all directions, looking around at this place… Their mouths are open too, like mine, but I can hear no words. But oh! Where is all this painful noise coming from? This horrible screeching sound… This place… we were warned about this, I think…Oh… oh! The mountains… they are dissolving – oh! This is terrible… oh, what is going on? It is so hot here… there is no shade, nothing as far as my numb eyes can see! My heart is beating in my throat. The ground is heaving beneath me! Help me, please! Somebody, please shelter me from this darkness and despair! Oh Allah, save us… what is this place… I never dreamed of something like this, ever. I can’t bear this shock, this horror…

Nobody is looking at me. Where is my family? My mother? My father? My Sisters and brothers? My children? Why has everyone deserted me? Am I alone? Then is this really the Day of Judgment?

As soon as this truth hits me, I can move no further. I drop to my knees and stare open-mouthed at the confusion all round me. I was trying to deny the existence of this Day until now. But it is here, surely… Allah’s promises in the Quran were all true! Oh, how soon this day has come! And new thoughts now come to my mind… In the middle of all this confusion, I hear voices in my head, my own voice coming from different directions…
‘Why did you not say the truth that day?’
‘Why had you engaged in back-biting about that person?’
‘Why did you read that American/Western fiction novel? Why didn’t you read the Quran during that time?’
‘Why did you delay your Salat for the sake of that T.V. drama or movie?’
‘Why did you change the T.V. channel when an Islamic program came on air?’
‘Why did you turn away the beggar when your purse was full of money you were going to spend on your material wishes and whims?’
‘Why did you ridicule the person who avoided the use of obscenities while you yourself used them in normal conversation?’
‘Why did you chose to dress up, for meager pleasure, the way that Allah disliked?’
‘Why did you idolize singers, actors, actresses and spend a major part of your life proving yourself as the true ‘fan’ and turn away from what was most important – the Quran, and Sunnah of the Prophet?’
‘Why did you spend all your time dreaming of going to America, England or Canada while this time could have been used in remembering Allah?’

Why? Why? Why?

The questions did not end there. I tried to pacify myself to some extent, argued with my conscience that I had offered Salat, kept fasts, performed Umrah, Hajj, paid Zakat… wasn’t that helpful?

Why, then, did I regret? Why did I regret doing so many things in my life… things so meaningless now, so useless… so immaterial?

And now, I am being handed the Statement of my Deeds and being ordered to come forward for the final judgment. Oh, would the earth swallow me up… would I cease to exist right now… I cannot go forward for I have much to regret.

It is often the ‘small things’ that we do in our day-to-day life that, unfortunately, will be a cause of regret to us on the Day of Judgment. Who shall care on that Day that This Famous movie actress was born on so-and-so date or she married so-and-so times? Who will care that the T.V. serial you had been following for seven years had finally ended just as you had thought it would? Who would care that you saw the movie, Titanic, five – or even twenty – times? Who would care that you had met so-and-so movie star and got his autograph? Who would care that you had read so-and-so novel so many times that the pages had been reduced to tatters?

You, yourself, would hardly care. However, you would realize suddenly that in the Sight of Allah, it was all worthless… and that is when regret shall be born.

‘All that time and energy could have been spent – should have been spent – in the Way of Allah.’

I have come to reply on one simple means to reduce the chances of facing regret on the Day of Judgment and I pray to Allah turn my efforts into successes (Ameen). I am sharing this with you:Whenever you begin any work or any activity, pause for a while and ask yourself,‘Am I about to do something which I will regret on the Day of Judgment?’

Do not engage yourself completely in the world so that in the Hereafter you have much to regret.

May Allah guide us towards the Path that He loves most and shower His Mercy and Beneficence upon all of us on the Day of Judgment. Ameen.

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