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LANALLAH __Islamic BlogZine__
Sunday, April 17, 2005

A Cry from A Chat Victim...

A Cry from A Chat Victim Posted by Admin Sister on Tuesday, June 24 @ 18:07:45
Contributed by Admin Sister Translated By IslamWay Sisters

A Girl Wrote an email saying:

Assalam Aleikom wa Rahmatullah wa barakatuh

I hope you can be of use to me in this problem: I'm a 17 year old Arab girl living in an Arab country and still in high school.Unfortunately, I learned about the internet yet, I misused it and spent my days chatting with guys and watching prohibited websites (I did such things behind my parents back and no one knew about them) even though I used to be religious and hated girls who chatted with guys.I then got to know a 21 years old guy-through the "Messenger" living in the same country but of different nationality and we went on chatting till we exchanged true and untainted love "just for the sake of Allah".

He used to educate me about teachings of religion and lead me to righteousness and guidance. He allowed me to see him through a camera, we sometimes prayed together.Later he started to show me parts of his body which in return caused me to become an addict to the secret habit. Such situation went on for a month in which we learned a lot from each other. We maintained voice chatting and when I trusted him I allowed him to see me, my hair and most of my body parts through the computer camera.

My love for him grew more and I thought only of him and nothing else to the extent that I couldn't concentrate in my studies, consequently causing my level of educational pursuit to decline.He then told me about where he lived and so did I. I called him on his mobile a while after that and checked the validity of the information he gave me. He said he wanted to marry me, I agreed to his proposal for marriage, although I'm supposed to marry my cousin, yet I'm now so afraid of my parents' disapproval especially after he started to threaten me saying: "If you leave me I'll disgrace you and spread your pictures"! Also he said:" I'll cal you using the numbers you dialed to reach me and tell your folks all about you."

When I discussed this matter with him he said that it was just threats yet I feel that he is not threatening me and that he's really going to do something, and now I'm thinking seriously of leaving him and returning to the path of Allah.My parents are Muslims and religious and if they knew that I'm in love with a guy and actually in contact with him they're gonna kill me( by "kill" I mean beating and humiliating) to avoid the scandal and bad reputation.

I don't know what to do! I'm so scared;I want guidance; I want to be happy and safe; I'm sick of thinking and feeling scared.Please help me. Because of this problem I quit praying; I quit worshiping in general because I'm bored and desperate with my life; my sisters' reputation and futures-as well as mine- will be destroyed if I don't die, and I want to, today before tomorrow.I want to leave him but I fear the scandal. He will call back so how can I stop him? Will Allah forgive me if I return to his path? What are the conditions of repentance and how should I repent and?I fear that I may go back to what I used to do? Where's the way out? How could I get rid of my addict to the secret habit? And now that I suffer from sexual frigidity, how can I treat it without my parents knowing about it?

I seek your reply so bad; don't throw my mail away.Please help me as soon as you can; there's no one else to help me; please help me, please.The sister's message is over; a message that is truly rich with lessons and examples Is anyone out there willing to learn?

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I shall pause at her saying: ("… we exchanged true and untainted love, "just for the sake of Allah") The problem is that every girl thinks that the guy who tries to hit on her is her dream prince and the fulfiller of her dreams, while he is actually the prince who brings failure, the maker of sorrows and the destroyer of hopes.

She pictured such love to be (... true and untainted love…) but she smells the rotten of it all before the end of the story; and he appears to be a stereotype of those wolves who care for nothing except fulfilling their desires. The hopes are vanishing and the pains are aching and there he is threatening her saying: "If you leave me I'll disgrace you and spread your pictures"! Is this true and a "for the sake of Allah" kind of love?! This is the American way of love! She says: "I'm so scared; I want guidance; I want to be happy and§ safe; I'm sick of thinking and feeling scared"

Wasn't she at peace and overwhelming bliss, following the path of guidance and performing her prayers before stepping into the hellish land of "Chat"? Why is she scared now? Why did she quit praying? It's the ominous of disobedience that deprived her of the pleasure of obedience. What was she looking for in "Chat" vaults? Looking For happiness? She is left now screaming "I want to be happy and safe". How weird the following words are:" My parents are Muslims and religious and if they knew that I'm in love with a guy and actually in contact with him they're going to kill me to avoid the scandal and bad reputation (by "kill" I mean beating and humiliating)"

All this happened while the parents where inattentive to their child; they've been so careless and so wasting of the Trust. It's the ultimate confidence that parents have specifically in young ladies which results in such a disaster. A father may say: "I have sheer blind trust in my daughters and my unmarriageable relatives in general". They're no better than Mothers of the believers, nonetheless Allah Exulted and Majestic be He said about their ethics:" O Consorts of the Prophet! ye are not like any of the (other) women: if ye do fear (Allah), be not too complaisant of speech, lest one in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire: but speak ye a speech (that is) just"; and Said about the Believers' ethics towards them:

" And when ye ask (his ladies) for anything ye want ask them from before a screen" Why did He say that?" that makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs". Is anyone out there willing to learn?"Verily in this is a Message for any that has a heart and understanding or who gives ear and earnestly witnesses (the truth)."

[Chapter 50, verse 37]

This message has been mailed to me and I took permission from the sister to publish it, and so I did with the exception her nationality.

Blogger Ishaq said...
Assalamu alaikum

To this sister I will say:

i. It is never too late repent no matter how grave this sin/mistake is.

ii. Allahu Ta'ala loves you more than your parents and at the same time can punish you far more severely than your parents will. Therefore, seek His forgiveness and protection from this evil guy and pray to Him to straighten your affairs with regards your parents. He will definitely answer you (however He wills and which is definitely best for you)

iii. To repent you have to

a. Feel remorseful about the whole incident.

b. Resolve firmly that you will never ever repeat such again.

c. Stop contacting this guy and damn the consequences.

this you will have to do or else he might hold you prisoner for life or capitalize on your fear to do more harm.

I pray that Allah in His infinite mercy on us and power over all creation delivers you from this - Ameen  

Blogger lanallah said...
Masha Allah bro excellent advice.

May it be a lesson for us all, ameen.Incidents like this illustrate why Allah says in The Glorious Qur'aan that we shouldn't even APPROACH Zina, how many haraam activities and deeds are today justified in the name of fun and amusement. Evil begets evil.

May Allah save us and protect us from the fitnah of shytaan and our Nafs! Ameen  

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